Browsing all 154 posts in Funny Criminals.

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Marijuana, a family activity

River Forest police officers pulled over a man, and his mother, at the intersection of Thatcher and Greenfield, the evening of Sept. 9. When officers approached the vehicle, they smelled marijuana, and asked the man and his mother to step out of the car. However, the two then locked their doors, rolled up their windows [...]

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Cragslist, so reliable

A man who allegedly twice tricked people into paying him rent on an apartment he didn’t own was arrested in August. A former River Forest resident and a registered sex offender in Coldiron, Ky., was accused of twice luring victims from Craigslist into signing fake leases for an apartment on the 1500 block of Harlem [...]

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Cooler Man!! The hip, new supervillian

A man, 48, walked into a Circle K store at about 8:30 a.m. on Sept. 6, donning a plastic foam cooler on his head with a hole punched in it so he could see, according to the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office. But between his unintelligible demands and his not-so-threatening pellet gun, Pavlich soon lost control [...]

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What’s brown and sticky? A stick! Also poo

Woman adds a little extra to traffic payment LAKEVIEW, Ore.; Debra Angeline Schwarz paid her traffic fine on time, but a substance she included with her payment got her into a stinky mess. Lake County authorities said Schwarz, 44, paid her $350 fine in a squishy envelope that included what witnesses called a “brown, pasty [...]

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Got to cut down on those big macs

Man gets stuck in church HIGH POINT, N.C.; After receiving calls from suspicious neighbors about someone trying to rob a Baptist church, police arrived and landed their main clue almost immediately; a suspect’s torso stuck and sticking out of a small window. Spotting Ronald Stutts, 28, wasn’t hard, but freeing the 6-foot, 235-pound man from [...]

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Laundry Machines do have a lot of quarters

A thief broke into a building, hoping to find the storage lockers.  Instead the criminal entered into an unlocked laundry room. There, the person used a gas torch to try and melt coin drops on two dryers, a police report says. But the criminal apparently struck out in the laundry-machine heist.

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Robbery is hard…

16TH ST., 2200 block, 2:30 a.m. July 10. Two men woke up a male who had fallen asleep in his vehicle. First they asked if he was okay or needed help, and then one, saying he had a gun, demanded the driver’s wallet. He did not comply and drove away.

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LIE FAIL

A teenager caught shoplifting gave the arresting officer a fake address. Didn’t work out too well, seeing as how it was the officer’s address.

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The toilet flusher thief

A rash of thefts have been reported around Oklahoma City as someone has been sneaking into restaurants and stealing electronic toilet flushers. Keeping restaurant patrons from using the facilities.

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Vigilante Artist strikes again!

An 80 old woman woke to find a 19 foot solar-powered metal structure placed in her yard.

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This has got to be some kind of record…

A homeless man was arrested, and during a cavity check revealed: inside a condom they found 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.

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Yummy!

A suspicious person was reported outside a Transit Road business trying to sell edible underwear.

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Man snaps, door pays the price

A man was taken to a mental health facility after having a breakdown and drilling holes in a neighbor’s front door, at 2:37 A.M.

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Irate man is mildly annoying

Report of an “irate tax payer” at the Mary Alley Municipal building, at 12:02 p.m. According to the report, the man could be heard yelling in the background.

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Grandma’s stealing spree

Report of a 62 year-old female who stole two pairs of children’s nylons from an Atlantic Avenue merchant, at 11:56 a.m.

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Sesame Street Drive By

Four kids in a blue Jetta were reported to have thrown a water balloon at a 9-year-old on Bessom Street at 3:29 P.M

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How was he driving in the first place?

A resident got a ticket for impeded operation of a motor vehicle on Hunphrey Street at 9:07 A.M. The driver had a “large dog” in her lap.

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Cat Fight!

Teenage girls were reported fighting in the 7-Eleven parking lot at 11:01 P.M. but were gone when police arrived.

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The child was found.

An intoxicated father was in the lobby of an Amherst day care center screaming that he lost his child, demanding the staff to lock the door until he found his child. The child was found.

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“one Chatty Cathy”

Two Cabbage Patch dolls, one Chatty Cathy and three other dolls, along with a storage box, were reported missing after a padlock was cut in the basement storage area of a Fisher Road apartment complex.

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toddler adjusts to life on the run..

A toddler reported missing was found sleeping under bushes on Robin Road, Amherst.

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there was probably a dead body in there!

A resident of Goodrich Road saw a black hearse with a skull and crossbones front license plate and a man with a yellow jacket sitting inside.

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odd easter switcheroo

A four-foot stuffed Easter bunny was found on the front lawn of a Hybank Drive residence, where a 12-inch decorative Easter Egg was reported missing. The rabbit was tagged and placed in the detective bureau.

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20 pair!

One pair of boots and 20 pair of underwear was taken from an apartment on Lancer Court in Depew.

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was the addition “middle-aged” necesary?

A caller reported someone was driving a car slowly around a building on Park Club Lane. It was a middle-aged person learning how to drive.

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uhh are we sure that’s mud?

An Arend Avenue resident reported he found his mailbox stuffed with mud and a plunger stuck to the front door when he came home.

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“big daddys house”

A bicycle was reported missing in front of “big daddy’s house” on Millard Fillmore Place

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pizza man duped!

A pizza deliveryman suspected a setup when he attempted to deliver a bogus order and then discovered a large pizza, 30 wings and a “hot bag” missing from his vehicle

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loose dog terrorizes neighboorhood

A loose dog was reported to be chasing people and vehicles on Shimerville Road.

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Suspicious technicolor dreamcoat?

A caller said a white male was walking west on Route 20. She said he was wearing funny clothes with lots of colors, a funny hat and was carrying a large bag. She said he looks like he “doesn’t belong in Orchard Park”

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hard core 8 year old leads police on a chase

An 8 year-old male was arrested after reportedly leading police on a high-speed chase down Ransom Road. A case of beer, 8 bottles of vodka and drug paraphernalia were found in the vehicle.

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they were supposed to be in school!

Two teenagers were reportedly hanging out in a parked vehicle at Como Lake Park. A large, glass smoking device containing residue was found on the floor of the vehicle. The two youths were supposed to be in school.

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A dare from a friend?

A caller reported a man running naked through a store on Walden Avenue while another man was videotaping him.

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These two facts seem related

A driver was stopped on Union Road for driving without a front tire and failing to stay in his lane

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As if thats an excuse..

A confused, elderly woman backed her car into an empty store at a Transit Road plaza.

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Who was IDing?

An 8 year-old bought beer at a Central Avenue gas station in Lancaster.

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haha is this illegal? good to know

A man was charged with harassment after answering his front door naked on Euclid Avenue.

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construction hater

Someone intentionally drove over freshly painted lines on Sheldon Street in Lancaster. He was later charged with harassment for swearing at construction workers.

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unique mailbox missing!

A resident of Wellingwood Drive reported that his mailbox in the shape of a cow was stolen.

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Do you think it was their dog? Sounds suspicious

Employees at the Petco Store on Orchard Park Road apprehended an individual who was stealing leather dog collars, chain leashes and a prong collar.

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I don’t know which is more concerning, the snake or the bullet..

A bullet was shot through the siding of a home on Leonard Drive last Thursday. Police said the bullet shattered a glass aquarium containing a four and-a-half foot California king snake, which was able to escape. The bullet reportedly came from a neighbor shooting a gun on private property in his backyard, police said.

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lots of little crimes..

A Lakeside Drive resident reported three holes were cut in his children’s pool, change was stolen from his wife’s vehicle and potted plants were moved from his neighbor’s yard to his yard between 6-7:15 a.m.

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GEE wonder why..

A male was reported sleeping on a sidewalk in front of Kaufmann’s at the Walden Galleria. He awoke to find his wallet missing.

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Vindictive toddler

A child locked his mother out of their vehicle on Youngs Road

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Sounds like they should’ve let him take the stolen items..

A Buffalo man was charged with petit larceny after he was caught trying to steal a can of lice treatment, a can of car wash, two cans of oil treatment, a tube of toothpaste and a razor from a Walden Avenue store.

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Harassed by balleria?

A physical harassment was reported in the 4000 block of Transit Road. The victim told police the suspect had two books and a pair of ballerina shoes that he refused to return.

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Savvy shoplifter busted

A customer at an Orchard Park Road supermarket was charged with petit larceny after an employee observed her switching the price tags on lobster tails and steak

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So much for doing the right thing..

A Lancaster man reportedly tried to steal a pair of jeans from a store on Broadway by trying them on and leaving the store. When stopped by the store owner, the suspect reportedly left the pants behind and fled the store. He later called and told the owner he wanted to “make good on the [...]

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Appreciate the use of “grown man” over adult

In a sub shop on Main Street, a grown man was throwing food and “being disrespectful.”

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Abusive dentist

A patient at an Orchard Park dentist’s office reportedly was slapped twice while in the dentist chair on Lake Avenue